Yes, that's really what Levi Johnston calls himself.

Levi, who believes himself to be a celebrity, somehow got invited to the GQ "Men of the Year" party in El Lay this week at the shiteous Chateau Marmont. And, to no one's surprise except maybe Levi, nobody cared he was there.

Dick "Ricky" was seen wandering around the party with more make-up caked on than Kim Kardashian, along with his manager Tank and some other macho dude.

Did he really think he needed security?

Since the Playgirl centerfold was being ignored by other guests like January Jones, Clint Eastwood, Morgan Freeman and Lindsay Lohan, the underage father sipped on his soda and checked his Blackberry for an hour, then disappeared.

Welcome to Hollywood! Enjoy those last few seconds while you can!

[Image via WENN.]

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What's going on with Lindsay Lohan lately? One day she loves the attention and other times she wants to completely hide.

It seems after her tantrum at Kitson last week, Lindsay won't let all her bad press stop her from having a good time.

Lindsanity was spotted Wednesday night pAArtying it up at Social in Hollywood with a pal.

La Loca then hit up H.Wood nightclub, where she was spotted leaving early in the AM.

Though it seems Lindsay was trying to hide something as she really didn't want the paparazzi snapping photos of her face.

Seriously, why hide now?

We know you're a mess!

[Image via XposurePhotos.com.]

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If this is true, we guess she didn't get too serious with Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis!

Avril Lavigne was reportedly spotted out several times with Lindsay Lohan's ex-boyfriend, Wilmer Valderrama.

After a first date near the end of October at Nobu they were supposedly getting chummy at LA club Wonderland over this past weekend.

A witness says:

"She had her hand on his knee and they were whispering in each other's ear, laughing. They even closed the club, sneaking out just after 2."

BARF!

[Image via Andres Otero / Joseph Marzullo / WENN.]

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Oh, girl. You're just a HOT mess, aren't you?

Lindsay Lohan reportedly threw another tantrum revolving around not paying for things at the launch of Jermaine Dupri's new watch line, NuPop, at Kitson boutique late last week.

Jewelery designer Pascal Mouawad, who collaborated with Dupri on the project, offered Lindsay $500 to spend in the store and she promptly upped the ante to $1,000 - even though she was already being paid for attending the launch to begin with!

Well apparently Lindsanity went a bit mad, whipping items off the shelves like crazy and racked up a $15,000 bill she believed Pascal would take care of! The designer declined to pay the exorbitant bill which angered the wacktress:

“Pascal said no, so she went and started talking smack about him to Jermaine Dupri who doesn’t even know her. He was totally bewildered and couldn’t believe it. Eventually Pascal said she could have $2000 to spend but that was the absolutely limit.”

Why is this guy giving her any money at all!? It's just feeding her delusion that she can get away with whatever she wants!

Lindsay tried to bargain with the Kitson staff to let her take the rest of the items for free in exchange for a staged photo-op with Kitson bags the following day for the paparazzi.

The staff tried to contact owner Fraser Ross, but when he couldn't be reached they told her to just take the $2,000 worth and return the next day to take it up with Ross.

La Loca believed she should be able to take the items for free because she's been such a loyal customer to the boutique and it's the LEAST Kitson can do for her.

BARF!

Kitson still refused Lindsay's demands prompting her to skulk off into the night with the bags of $2,000 worth of free shiz and a promise that she would be back the next day.

Is this the drugs or just your sparkling personality, Lindz?

Because it sounds like you've been acting like a real bitch lately!

[Image via FayesVision / WENN.]

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And we don't blame her. This is worst attempt at an intervention we've ever heard of!

Close (and loose-lipped) friends of Lindsay Lohan are reporting that they tried to hold an intervention for her this weekend, but to their disappointment, it didn't take. That's probably because they tried to have one in the bathroom of a West Hollywood house party.

Not the best venue for that sort of thing!

The story goes that these so-called friends, probably already wasted themselves, tried to corner Lilo while at a party hosted by Stavros Niarchos. They tried to get Lindsay alone in a private part of the house, but after five hours of partying, it was hard to keep Lindsay still for very long.

One of her friends recalls:

‘‘She kept moving from room to room. … She was clearly hyped-up on more than just booze. It was impossible to corner her, until a few people tried to — in a bathroom when it was nearly dawn… The only problem was, she saw David Trent [a close friend of her despised father] and immediately bolted."

Some friends you have, LiLo. Don't get us wrong - the intention was sincere, but the execution just screams stupidity.

We do want Lindsay to get help, though, just from the kind of people who actually know how to help her.

Poor girl. Sometimes we truly feel bad for her!

[Image via WENN.]

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We can add this Freudian pleasure twist to the mix and bump him up to revolting!

Sources are suggesting that Michael Lohan, father and public defender betrayer of Lindsay Lohan, seeks out a certain kind of stripper when he heads to the clubs.

One that looks like his daughter!!!

Ewww!

A former owner of the most renowned strip joint in NYC, Elliot Osher claims that when he was in charge of Scores and Michael would drop in, Poppa Lohan had some specific requests for the kinds of girls he wanted to see and the demands looked familiar. Elliot insists:

"Lindsay Lohan's father once sat down and described the kind of dancer he was looking for. We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door."

Even this kind of press was too much for Mikey, as he denies ever having any girls dance for him while visiting the establishment.

What'd you all do, play Yahtzee?

C'mon, Mike. At least if you are going to lie, come up with a decent story! Don't expect us to believe you went to a boobie brothel and didn't see any tittays!

But for Lindsay's sanity, we hope you aren't requesting Lindsay-Look-Alikes. It's sick and wrong and much more that Lilo could possibly handle.

[Image via WENN.]

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Oh, LOLhan.

Will you ever learn????

Lindsanity started her Saturday night at Voyeur nightclub and continued the pAArty until at least 4:30 am, which was when Lohan was snapped arriving at a house party in the Hollywood Hills.

4:30 in the morning, Lindsanity?????

Did your hard pAArtying activities include a substance that rhymes with champagne??

[Image via WENN.]

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How DARE you suggest Lindsanity check into rehab!

Can't you see that La Coka Lohan is doing just fine???

Lohan ran into her ex-girlfriend, Yahoo! heiress Courtenay Semel, at Crown Bar a few nights ago, and Lindsanity "ran out in tears" after Semel confronted her in the bathroom!!

Sources say Semel recently completed an in-patient rehab program, and Courtenay "pleaded with Lindsay to do the same" while cornering her ex in the girl's room.

You can't run away from your problems forever, Linds!

[Image via WENN.]

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She's in denial!

At the Nu Pop Movement watch launch at Kitson Men last night, Lindsay Lohan told reporters:

"I've never been happier in my life. As long as my mom, my sister and my brother are happy, then I'm good."

Oh the Lindsanity!

After the launch, she hit up West Hollywood club Voyeur, where she made jokes at dad Michael Lohan's expense.

When asked about her new album she's been planning to record she remained tight-lipped:

"I can't say anything because the person I'm working with on the album I haven't officially signed with yet."

We hope you sign soon! With all this partying recently it looks like you desperately need something constructive to do!

Be careful, Lindz!

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