Michael Lohan, you sure know how to make enemies out of family and friends FAST. This must be some kind of record!

Since the novelty of exploiting his daughter, Lindsay Lohan, has faded, now Poppa Lohan has moved on to his former BFF, Jon Gosselin.

Always thinking ahead, Michael tape recorded conversations that he and Jon shared and has now started leaking them onto the Internet.

Today's first snippet comes from an almost 4 minute convo covering Jon's many lovers, his ordeal with TLC, and a topic you never saw coming - pedophiles!

At one point in their conversation, Jon says to Michael:

"I mean, I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it? It's disgusting."

Now, one immediately looks to the word pedophile to see the problem with this sentence. We, however, manage to look beyond that to see what was Jon's real concern: the children never got paid for being exploited!

How interesting that THAT would be their father's concern! So, if the kids did make big bucks, the fact that pedophiles were tuning in wouldn't have bothered you as much?

Now, we've always had a issue coming to a decision over who is worse: Michael Lohan or Jon Gosselin? We keep sticking to Michael, as he's been a douche longer and has pulled more outrageous stunts.

However, we propose putting the ball in Jon's court to make the ultimate dick move. Considering he has something in common with her, maybe Jon should pick up the phone and give LiLo a call?

She might have enough Daddy issues to go through with a little one-on-one time with Jon!

And wouldn't that be a pisser for Michael!

[Image via WENN.]

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We can add this Freudian pleasure twist to the mix and bump him up to revolting!

Sources are suggesting that Michael Lohan, father and public defender betrayer of Lindsay Lohan, seeks out a certain kind of stripper when he heads to the clubs.

One that looks like his daughter!!!

Ewww!

A former owner of the most renowned strip joint in NYC, Elliot Osher claims that when he was in charge of Scores and Michael would drop in, Poppa Lohan had some specific requests for the kinds of girls he wanted to see and the demands looked familiar. Elliot insists:

"Lindsay Lohan's father once sat down and described the kind of dancer he was looking for. We sent some girls over. Funny, they all seemed to look like Lindsay. We ended up having to show him to the door."

Even this kind of press was too much for Mikey, as he denies ever having any girls dance for him while visiting the establishment.

What'd you all do, play Yahtzee?

C'mon, Mike. At least if you are going to lie, come up with a decent story! Don't expect us to believe you went to a boobie brothel and didn't see any tittays!

But for Lindsay's sanity, we hope you aren't requesting Lindsay-Look-Alikes. It's sick and wrong and much more that Lilo could possibly handle.

[Image via WENN.]

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She's in denial!

At the Nu Pop Movement watch launch at Kitson Men last night, Lindsay Lohan told reporters:

"I've never been happier in my life. As long as my mom, my sister and my brother are happy, then I'm good."

Oh the Lindsanity!

After the launch, she hit up West Hollywood club Voyeur, where she made jokes at dad Michael Lohan's expense.

When asked about her new album she's been planning to record she remained tight-lipped:

"I can't say anything because the person I'm working with on the album I haven't officially signed with yet."

We hope you sign soon! With all this partying recently it looks like you desperately need something constructive to do!

Be careful, Lindz!

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Is someone bullshitting a bullshitter?

Michael Lohan seems to think so!

Ex-wife Dina Lohan is reportedly taking legal action to put Michael in prison over his multiple recent releases of phone calls about their daughter, Lindsay Lohan.

Dina claimed that the calls were made while she was under a criminal protection order that banned Michael from contacting her by email or phone until 2011. Michael's response?

"It's bullshit. I called the house to talk to the kids and she would get on the phone and tell me all this stuff. I couldn't control that. I have all the tapes to prove it."

Michael even says that Dina would call him drunk and rambled on about her life's problems, including her boyfriend!

LOLs!

Now those are the tapes we'd actually want to hear!

[Image via FayesVision / WENN.]

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And the Lohan family drama continues!

Lindsay Lohan has been in a very public battle with daddy-of-the-decade Jon Gosselin Michael Lohan.

And she's taking her frustration out by joking with the paparazzi about him.

Lindsanity was spotted leaving Voyeur nightclub last night, pAArtying hard in West Hollywood, and the paps were all over her.

But after a few moments and lots of photographs later, Lindsay tells the paparazzi, "Guys, why don't you go find my dad, he's the one that wants the pictures."

So true!

She's then escorted to a car waiting for her, and as her guy friend started to drive away, he hit the parked car in front of him and drove off!

The paps then proceeded to chant "Hit-and-Run" over and over, and once again it seems like a typical night for Lilo.

[Image via WENN.]

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And now, he'll claim to be a martyr!!!

Due to a protective order filed by Dina Lohan, Michael is prohibited from communicating with his estranged wife by email or phone from 2005 to 2011.

Although they leaked recently, those La Loca-centered tapes were allegedly made in 2008!

If he's convicted, he'll be enjoying some quality time in slammer!

Unfortunately for Lindsay, she only had a protective order filed against he backstabbing father for one year in 2004.

Hope he enjoys his jail stint! The guards better keep a good muzzle handy!

[Image via WENN.]

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That's what he's claiming!

Jon Voight recently said that he and estranged daughter Angelina Jolie have reconciled.

He claims:

"We're in touch, but not regularly. We love each other and that's the most important thing."

The two apparently met face-to-face in February and have been talking since then. Angelina's partner, Brad Pitt, is said to have been imperative in their reconnection, urging Ange to get in touch with her dad.

Angelina cut off contact with her father back in 2001 when he appeared on television pleading for her to get help for her "serious mental problems."

Sounds like someone else we know!

[Image via WENN.]

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Are you effing serious, Michael Lohan!

In another secretly recorded 2008 tape courtesy of the scum of the Earth, Dina Lohan admits that Lindsay's situation is dire - she's a cutter!

"Her cutting herself and hurting herself? Yeah, it's bad Michael, it's bad," Dina confessed.

And she knows that tragedy is looming!

"I know that it's going to happen," Dina said in response to Michael when he stated "If something happens.." and Dina continued "I will feel it's all your fault, that's how I will feel, it's not about me."

We're pretty sure it's about BOTH of you!

But, Michael refuses to accept any responsibility for the situation!

"I will feel like it's everyone else's fault," said the so-called father, who Lindsay refused to see at the time.

WOW! Someone should have taken that girl away when they had the chance!

CLICK HERE to listen to the bickering unfit parents!

[Image via WENN.]

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We've never said this before, but we AGREE with Dina Lohan!

Lindsay's mom is publicy speaking out against ex-husband Michael Lohan and his atrocious actions in releasing private phone calls about his daughter.

"The tapes were from a long time ago, and for a father to stoop this low in unforgivable," says Dina. "My ex-husband has been in and out of jail for 10 years. My children and I gave him a chance to get to know them again, and he clearly blew that chance!"

Dina, Lindsay and Lindsay's former assistant/manager, Jenni Muro, are all considering legal action against Michael and Dina has even revealed that Michael shouldn't have even been talking to her on the phone at that time!

She explains:

"I have had a criminal order of protection from the domestic violence sector since 2005 [valid through 2011]. He was not supposed to even be harassing me by phone. My heart is breaking for my children that he could do this. He has no visitation anymore and is six months behind in child support. The authorities have been alerted!"

Poor Lindsay!

With these two whack-jobs as parents, she never had a chance.

We really do hope she's able to get the help that she needs from somewhere!

[Image via FayesVision / WENN.]

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