First she was a dancer, now she's an ice skater!

Paul McCartney's militant vegan ex-wife, Heather Mills, will be appearing on Britain's Dancing on Ice!

Mills, who lost her left leg after being hit by a police officer in 1993, has ordered "a range of prosthetic legs" to compete with on the television program, which begins filming in January.

Heather appeared on the US' Dancing with the Stars in 2007, but was eliminated early on in the competition - even before Billy Ray Cyrus!

How long do U think Mills will last on Dancing on Ice????

[Image via WENN.]

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Watch out, because if you make fun of Heather Mills instant karma's gonna get you!

Mills said recently, "Certain journalists have written horrible things, and then they've got cancer, or they've had a tumour, or they've died. And it's terrible for them, but they've done really evil things. I truly believe things come back round."

We better watch out!

She might work her voodoo magic on us!

[Image via WENN.]

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Heather Mills must love the media attention - cuz she certainly keeps talking about it!

Paul McCartney's former wife has got an agenda. She slowly plans to take down all the British Media that have talked smack about her.

That might take a lifetime!

Mills has already taken legal action against a number of "damaging" rumors spread about her personal life.

She says, "I stopped reading stories about myself a number of years ago. I just thought 'this is just a waste of time', but recently I've been going through the internet, clearing up [rumours]."

Shouldn't you be busy raising your daughter and curing cancer and shiz?

Mills adds, "I've got five apologies so far from [the] British media and I've got many thousands to go. I plan to clear the internet so my daughter doesn't read all the lies when she's 12."

Clear the internet of the "lies" about Mills?

The lies might be gone, but the dirty truths about you will still be around!

[Image via WENN.]

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Heather Mills is the butt of every joke, and the wicked witch was almost owned by some British tabloids.

Apparently, a charity called Marital Understanding approached her to come speak at an event, potentially divulging details of her messy break up with Paul McCartney. Upon closer inspection, however, the "charity" raised some red flags.

For instance, the charity's website had been in existence only 2 days prior to the invitation extended to Heather, it ended in a ".com" rather than the typical ".org", and the site could be traced back to News Corp, which owns British tabloids such as The Sun and News of the World.

So Heather decided to put her detective hat on and and recorded a phone call with the faux charity and got a lot more questions than answers.

Heather reported the incident to the Metropolitan Police in London, which has taken it "under review."

Heather said, "I hope the police look into this case seriously. It's one thing to report the news, but a wholly different matter to try to create news by attempting a sting like this."

Be wary of fake charities!

And don't be such a twat, especially if your name is Heather.

[Image via WENN.]

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Militant vegan Heather Mills has singlehandedly ruined one seafood entrepreneur's business!

Takin' those pescotarians down one at a time, Mucca???

Mills, while on her extensive spending spree, agreed to buy East Sussex' Big Fish Cafe last year for £255,000 ($360,000 USD) with plans to turn the popular seafood restaurant into a strictly veggie joint.

But this week, Heather served former owner Nick Short with a letter from her lawyer informing the head of the seafood cafe that she will be paying him a mere £140,000 (about $200,000 USD) for the space!!!

In case you've forgotten, Heather received $30 million dollars in her divorce settlement from Sir Paul McCartney.

"I got a letter from her lawyer saying the price had dropped to £140,000. It blamed the credit crunch and the 'current economic climate,'" said Short. "I'd put off other buyers who were offering the full price thinking I had a deal with Heather. There was nowhere else I could go… I have been well and truly worked over by Heather."

As well as stiffing Short, Mills generously decided to hire a entirely new waitstaff, leaving the six original cafe staffers out of a job.

Such a saint, that Mucca!

[Image via WENN.]

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We couldn't stop laughing at this one!

Heather Mills told the folks at Page Six Magazine that the guys in the NYC lurve her to pieces,.

Paul McCartney's ex-wife says:

"I've got so many stunning girlfriends who can't get a boyfriend. But when I go out here, I get asked out all the time, and my girlfriends - who are better looking than me - say, 'How the hell does that happen?!' Maybe it's because I'm comfortable with myself."

Maybe it's because they know about your hefty divorce settlement and they want to get a piece Macca's money too, duh.

Here are some of Heather's other LOLtastic comments!

On dating and Sir Paul McCartney:
"I've been dating a very hot, humble English guy for nine months. As for my ex and I, we get on fine. We're like any civil divorced couple. I haven't actually met Nancy [Shevell, Paul's girlfriend], but my daughter says she's wonderful. Paul's got great taste in women."

On being vilified in the press:
"When you marry a Beatle, you marry 120 million fans who are also madly in love with him. This has meant years of hurtful and untrue press, as well as some silly things such as "Heather Pays $1 Million for Swimming Pool." (I could have built a pool for the British Olympics for that price.) My friends remind me that this happens to many strong, successful women. I've watched my friend Hillary Clinton go through a hell of a time and still come out on top due to her strength.

On birthdays and living in New York:
"I turned 41 last week. When I was with my daughter's father [Paul McCartney], we didn't really socialize. But on my birthday I thought, "Oh, I need a party." So I invited everyone from the local bar and had drinks at home. It was such a laugh. That's New York—so easygoing. For me, living here is a fresh beginning and an opportunity to move on."

On life's priorities:
"One of my friends found a picture from when I was 24 just before I lost my leg and said, "Why don't you cut your hair short again?" So I thought, "Just chop it off." I'm laid-back about that stuff. I nearly died four times—a police motorcycle cut my leg off and punctured my lung, which gives you a different perspective on life. It's just hair. It grows."

[Image via WENN.]

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On Friday, Heather Mills was on the Today show yapping about her $1 million donation of healthy food to kids in the Hunts Point neighborhood of the Bronx.

She also showed off her new shorter, blonde hairdo.

Watch the video here.

We think it looks whoreanus!

What do U think???

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Earlier this week, Heather Mills' former nanny filed a claim against the one-legged blonde for 'sexual discrimination, intimidation and constructive dismissal'. In addition to her nanny duties, the ex-employee was asked to do extra things like spray tan Mucca's naked body and reporting into work at 7.30 am to blow dry the golddigger's hair.

Well, sources close to Mucca report that she's currently in a 'black hole of rage'.

They say she's beside herself with fury at the 'betrayal' by somebody she regarded as a close friend, at a time when she was beginning to think that the 'bad old days' were behind her.

Mucca's new mouthpiece said she's 'devastated'.

"For years she has treated Sara (the former nanny) as a member of the family," said the flack.

If what the nanny says is true, we'd be disowned by our family members if we treated any of them that way!

It's also reported that Mucca has already spent $14.5 million of the $30 million she got in the divorce from former Beatle Paul McCartney.

We wonder if the former nanny will get herself a nice big chunk of the remaining divorce settlement bucks.

Payback's a big biyatch!

[Image via WENN.]

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Mucca's at it again, doing what she does best: getting people to hate her.

Mucca's former nanny, Sara Trumble, is trying to force Heather Mills into court over claims that Heather made her perform tasks beyond her outlined duties, which were simply to help take care of little Beatrice.

These include tasks such as coming in at 7:30 in the morning to blow dry her hair and applying a once-a-week spray tan to the ex-model.

They've got 28 days to come to some sort of agreement, or else Heather faces another courtroom beatdown.

Heather's side is expected to say that Sara was hired as a housekeeper as well as a nanny, and that Sara was adequately repaid with cars, trips, and hand-me-downs from Beatrice's closet after she had her own baby.

That still doesn't make up for naked spray tan sessions!

Heather's other defense is that Sara is only out for money.

Pot, meet Kettle.

Sara is the fourth in Heather's team to leave after Mucca's much publicized divorce.

The rest should get out while they still can!

[Image via WENN.]

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